paths

we met at the wrong time.

our paths were different.
we were at different points in our lives.

i can't deny the connection i longed to have with you -
i swear you felt it too.

but the sun set
and the shadows were cast over your eyes.

you didn't want me

and you never will.

the desire for you lit my soul
like a wild fire that was never meant to be controlled.

it grew
it roared
and i got engulfed in the flames.
the flames that i thought were going to ignite my soul and make me fly.

but it didn't.

the flames burnt me.
they burnt me to the ground
until there was nothing left
but ashes.
ashes that can't be put together after the destruction.

i thought i had been burnt before
but nothing compared to this.

it stung my soul and left it open.
my heart was now exposed
for everyone to see
and i couldn't hide it.

getting ruined hurts

but maybe it was meant for me.

the stars i see

you're good enough for you
and when you decide that -
it's the day you free yourself.

transferring emotion from my soul to my mind
believing everything i feel.
the emotions consume me
as i lay staring at the darkness.

the stars i see in the sky barely shine
but even then,
the light makes me uncomfortable.

squeezing my eyes shut
i turn numb inside.

they say a pictures tells a thousand words -
but my heart alone could write a novel.
no one knows the stories i hide.
no one knows the darkness i hold.

my mind is beat up like shattered glass
that breaks more each time i breathe.

i tell myself i'm more than this
i tell myself i'm more than this
i tell myself i'm more than this

all i want is to be free.

pieces shatter

cause you never think the last time
is the last time.

you always think you'll have one more time,
and another after that.

but when you don't,
and its gone,
it will shatter you to pieces.

the flowers will hide.
the moon will die.
the sun won't rise.

to desire anything is a struggle
because the thing you desired most
is gone.

holding onto hope
feels like holding onto knifes.
and those knifes will turn on you
and tear you apart.

you muster all you can
and still that's not enough.

you're running out
so you sit there and let the regrets of yesterday
consume you.
at least you can do something.

at least you can do that.

naked

is she naked because you love her,
or do you love her because she is naked?

slipping clothes off with a man means nothing to me
anymore.

i thought it was love
but it turns out it wasn't.

the used and the abused,
use and abuse you.

you cant blame them,
i guess that's life.

but it makes your head spin like a tornado,
your heart pound like a drum,
and your soul scream in agony.

but after he is done with you for the night,
your head aches with silence,
your heart goes numb like death,
and your soul leaves your body.

i can't blame him i guess

that's life.

flames burn

the floods came
and the fire still burned.

this love, you were sure, would never die.

you've gone to Hell and back more than once
and this love only grew bigger.

you hold onto this love so tight.
you held on with more strength than you thought you had.

hope was sinking into your bones.
you trusted this love.

so when the floods came again,
you had no doubts this flaming love would burn bright.

but this time - it changed.

the flood was strong - too strong.
and this time it broke that bond.

you watched the flame burn out
and everything washed away.

now there is nothing left but burnt remains
that no longer are the same.